Ah, I see you have a goat that you need to train to use the milking stand. Never fear, I am here to help. In the following ten steps, you will learn how to easily and effectively train your dairy goat to hop right up onto the stanchion and be milked.
Go into the goat pen and call her over by name very sweetly… for an hour.
Cry a little when Step 1 does not work. Repeat Step 1.
Make a friend and then tell them that helping you catch a goat would be great fun. Bake a pie if at first this does not work.
Slowly inch around the yard with your arms outstretched as to not stress the goat. This method may, in fact, stress you out.
Clip a leash onto the goat’s collar and thank the universe for your good luck.
Try to coax the goat over to the milking stand. Bribery is on the table here, so use anything delicious to get your goat onto the stand: barley, oats, sprouts, sweet nothings in her ear… Sky is the limit.
Lock her head in and breathe easy for a moment. A very brief moment.
Pet her, love her, and then let her down to be led back into her pen.
Repeat steps 1-8 for several days until your goat is comfortable on the milking stand.
Milk your goat!